First talk with potential therapist

I had one yesterday and it went well except that I didn’t want to couldn’t talk about my eating disorder. About anorexia. Because I’m SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS scared of hearing something that hurts me, and let me tell you, this would hurt me so much: BUT YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A DISORDER. ARE YOU BULIMIC? […]

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Still alive

So here I am again…lol. Like I’ve probably said a thousand times I have no idea why it’s so hard to write on here regularly!? I pissed at myself about this tbh because I dream of having a blog that I write on daily, that people actually read and I too get tired of blogs […]

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Today after therapy

We didn’t talk about anything today but bodies and feeling our bodies etc etc. I actually wanted to talk about different things but that’s not how therapy works, it can turn out anyway every session and you certainly can’t plan it. Anyways I felt awful and disgusted with myself afterwards. I wish I could just […]

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Eternally fat

I feel so awful right now. It’s crazy how my body perception keeps fluctuating and how rapidly i can go from feeling skinny to feeling fat. Fat fat fat….fat everywhere. Just too much of everything, filling out way too much space. A bmi of 16.2 is not exactly the prototypical anorexic skinny body, even if […]

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Fat failure

Fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat…i hate my disgusting fat obese bloated ugly body!!! My fucking (not-existant)height, my fat face with it’s chubby cheeks, my broad shoulders and fat arms and my fat thighs. I’m so disgusted by myself. Also boyfriend basically said i looked fat. Also everyone else is giving me this message. I need to lose 10 more […]

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The Gruesome Obligatory Check-Up

Hi everyone ❤ So I had an appointment at the clinic today – I don’t know how many of you know this but I’m in therapy for my borderline/depression/anxiety issues and part of the agreement between my therapist is that I go to the doctor and psychiatrist every three months or so for a check-up. […]

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