Drunk again. I was called fat. Thanks very much. For anorexic standards I probably am. But it hurts so much to hear it from another person. In case any of the people who called me fat are informed about the medical circumstances of anorexia: I’m still underweight. I may not be severely underweight but I’m definitely […]

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Anxiety to go back to College

I’m feeling awful. Today is the last day before classes start again and I don’t feel like going back and seeing all the others again. Trying to please everyone in order to still become popular somehow and to not be an outsider because I exclude myself from all sorts of communication. I’m scared of the […]

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BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder)

First, a few definitions by scientific research and eating disorder organisations: “Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is often called the ‘imagined ugliness’ disorder. […] excessive, disproportionate concerns about a minor flaw, or as recurrent, anxiety-provoking thoughts about an entirely imagined defect […] most frequently focused on the head and face, but may involve any body part. [Sufferers] […]

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Today after therapy

We didn’t talk about anything today but bodies and feeling our bodies etc etc. I actually wanted to talk about different things but that’s not how therapy works, it can turn out anyway every session and you certainly can’t plan it. Anyways I felt awful and disgusted with myself afterwards. I wish I could just […]

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Fat failure

Fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat…i hate my disgusting fat obese bloated ugly body!!! My fucking (not-existant)height, my fat face with it’s chubby cheeks, my broad shoulders and fat arms and my fat thighs. I’m so disgusted by myself. Also boyfriend basically said i looked fat. Also everyone else is giving me this message. I need to lose 10 more […]

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Last week of summer holiday

Sorry been too lazy to post. Nothing special happened, i’m still struggling to write the paper and lose weight, obviously a bad combination but not the reason why i just can’t get it done. Fashion school starts in a week and i’m superexited and have been preparing school supplies, for some reason i’ve always loved […]

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Joke of the year

Therapist thinks i’m too skinny to continue outpatient therapy….ahahahaha biggest joke ever. Like does she have functioning eyes??? Lol. Anyways, i’m not going IP like she suggests. Fuck meal plans, they don’t do anything but make you gain weight so you’re trapped in a fucking ‘healthy’ (fat) body and nothing has changed except the number […]

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