My personal experience with social phobia and panic attacks

In my previous post I copy-pasted some info on both conditions (although panic attacks are part of social phobia but can also happen in other situtaions). now I’m going – or try to since it’s pretty hard – talk about me experiences. The reason why this is such a huge topic on my blog right […]

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About my latest relapse and other things

It’s 4am, I slept for 3 hours and now I can’t go back to sleep. Curing alcohol with alcohol, although I don’t get hangovers I have a headache from the combo of alcohol+little sleep. I know this is bad. I know it is. So why do I do this to myself? I honestly don’t know. […]

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Something I recently wrote for my book (German)

24.02.2017 Sie ist da. Ich spüre es in meinem ganzen Körper. Sie ist wieder ganz dicht da die Anorexie und verschmilzt mit mir. Wie oft war ich seit 2011 wieder an diesem Punkt und bin dann wieder rausgekommen um schlimmeres zu fühlen und zu ertragen, wo ich dann in Selbsthass versunken bin und mich vor […]

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Still alive

So here I am again…lol. Like I’ve probably said a thousand times I have no idea why it’s so hard to write on here regularly!? I pissed at myself about this tbh because I dream of having a blog that I write on daily, that people actually read and I too get tired of blogs […]

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Screwed up again

Hi everyone, so what I’m going to write about today is not big news but maybe to you it is because it’s stuff I’ve been bottling up over the past few days, weeks (I lost track of time)… Current situation: re-registered as university student, missed even more college classes, scared as hell because of it, […]

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Anxiety to go back to College

I’m feeling awful. Today is the last day before classes start again and I don’t feel like going back and seeing all the others again. Trying to please everyone in order to still become popular somehow and to not be an outsider because I exclude myself from all sorts of communication. I’m scared of the […]

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Fat failure

Fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat…i hate my disgusting fat obese bloated ugly body!!! My fucking (not-existant)height, my fat face with it’s chubby cheeks, my broad shoulders and fat arms and my fat thighs. I’m so disgusted by myself. Also boyfriend basically said i looked fat. Also everyone else is giving me this message. I need to lose 10 more […]

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