Drunk again. I was called fat. Thanks very much. For anorexic standards I probably am. But it hurts so much to hear it from another person. In case any of the people who called me fat are informed about the medical circumstances of anorexia: I’m still underweight. I may not be severely underweight but I’m definitely […]

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My personal experience with social phobia and panic attacks

In my previous post I copy-pasted some info on both conditions (although panic attacks are part of social phobia but can also happen in other situtaions). now I’m going – or try to since it’s pretty hard – talk about me experiences. The reason why this is such a huge topic on my blog right […]

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About my latest relapse and other things

It’s 4am, I slept for 3 hours and now I can’t go back to sleep. Curing alcohol with alcohol, although I don’t get hangovers I have a headache from the combo of alcohol+little sleep. I know this is bad. I know it is. So why do I do this to myself? I honestly don’t know. […]

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Panikattacken…

Diese verdammte Angst. Ich weiß nicht, warum sie seit zwei Wochen soso schlimm ist!? I have this constant feeling that people are going to make fun of me, talk about me and laugh at me. That my whole body starts shaking out of the blue doesn’t make it any better. Today I tried some ‘ […]

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Tuesday 14th, 05:55am

Picture: http://vinepair.com/wine-blog/the-6-best-white-wines-for-red-wine-lovers/ Two glasses of wine. Very likely more during the next few hours if I don’t fall asleep. To my embarrassment boxed wine since I can’t afford more. I have no cigarettes so I feel like I need to give in to another addiction. I think it was last year in Spring that I became […]

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University Exams

Guys, I gotta tell you I’m so fucking proud!!! Probably not exactly something to be proud of for a ‘normal’ person but hey, for me, it’s like such big success!!! I stayed a couple days at my parents’ place to study…for some reason I can study there whereas as S.’s place I can’t. Today I […]

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Not so ladylike

How far have I come…perfect little girl drinking wine out of a tetrapak that she could only afford because of all her boyfriends beer bottle deposits (he doesn’t have a problem he just collects all the bottles forever so it’s not unusual that I get up to 2€ from it). I always try to bring […]

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