No will to live

These days I really don’t feel like living. I’m still caught in university shit I have to deal with before Fashion school starts. I’m totally broke, I have debts. I drink way too much alcohol to numb the pain. I’m the worst girlfriend because I’m always afraid in public, have regular panic attacks, can’t eat out like a normal person, have no boobs or ass (which I don’t mind but bf does I guess), scars on my arms that get refreshed frequently and altogether I’m just a depressive bag of shit. Sometimes I even think about breaking up although even the thought tears my heart apart but I can’t help thinking how he’d be so much better off without me. I must be such a bore, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with myself. I feel like I can’t give him back what he does for me. I try my best but in the end it’s still me. And me=awful exhausting bag of worries and problems.


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