Confessions of a broken girl

I haven’t washed my hair for a week….
I shower maybe every 4-5 days…..
I have binged and purged ever since i’ve been at the clinic checkup…..
The last few days i haven’t even bothered to purge…..
I’ve probably gained a ton of weight…..
I can hardly leave the house, it’s been 2 weeks ago that i had left the house on my own….
I skipped my therapy sessions…..
I’ve been out of my anti-acid pills for a month…..
I’ve been out if meds for more than a week….
I couldn’t get them on my own….
I didn’t go to the same exam for the third time – no wait, first time i bailed within the first five mins…..
I’m getting a ‘fail’ now…..
Who cares….
I haven’t been able to go to the loo for two weeks (sorry *tmi*)…..
I just bought lax….
I’m going to take them today to get all the disgusting waste of the binges out of my system…..
I’m going to have green tea for the rest of the day….. And for the next few days. Well, probably coffee in the morning….
I’ll try to take my meds everyday and on time….
I’ll go to therapy today….
I’ll study as much as i can and go to at least two exams….
I’ll celebrate S’s and my anniversary….
I’ll pay back the money i owe him…..
I’ll buy myself black eyeliner and put it on….
I’ll tidy up my stuff…..
I might have a shower…..
I’ll cuddle with my kitty…..
After all that….
I will still be a failure…..
But at least a better one than now…..


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